Best-Ever Cole Slaw Dressing

Hi Everyone:

This will be my first posting - hope it works!

We had a wonderful dinner/visit with Heidi on Sunday at our home and both she and Holly asked for this recipe so I thought I'd follow Nancy's example and post it for everyone to enjoy. There is no mayonnaise in this recipe and that's one of the reasons Heidi wanted it because apparently Stephen hates mayonnaise! I originally got this recipe from my friend Brenda Smyth in our old ward (her husband doesn't like mayonnaise either).

Best-Ever Cole Slaw Dressing
1 cup sugar
1 cup salad oil (I use canola oil)
1t salt
1 small onion, minced in food processor
1/2 cup vinegar, white distilled
1t celery seed
1t dry mustard

Beat ingredients together until very creamy. Store in covered pint jar in refrigerator. Keeps very well.

NOTE: This makes a lot of dressing - more than enough to cover 2 bags of ready-made coleslaw.

Smiles... Stephanie

Boys Will Be Boys - Even When They're Elders

Editor's Note: The Elders in our ward reported Sunday that at their meeting Friday they met Elder Fitzgerald from Ian's MTC Spanish class. He is south of us in the Lauderhill ward and hopes to have an exchange or split up here so he can get a picture with us to send Ian. I want to get more information about what Ian's reputation is among the other kids. I will snoop further.

This is not a newsy letter, but showcases his endless knack for tall tales. The MTC sounds like a crowd control nightmare. Fans of "The Office" will understand his comparisons better than I. Though, one can never be quite sure of the truth where Ian is concerned.

On a more spiritual note it does sound like he's putting his grandparents' gift (Spanish hymnbook) to good use – it's the first time I've ever heard him admit to a favorite hymn! So he has turned over one new leaf!

MTC
July 23, 2007

Hi,

I'm going to send Marcus a letter at some point during his 6 weeks home.

Yeah, I'll need a phone card to call from the airport, and to deposit money you deposit to the Wachovia account.

Yeah, Elder Fitzgerald is the nicest guy. I gave them all our address and your phone number and Jamel's. Look out for Fitzgerald, Stewart, Shick and Mortimer. Stewart taught me everything I know in foursquare.

I got a letter from Dita last Monday, and I opened it, and it said "Dear Elder Subandriyo" and then the entire letter was in Indonesian. So I think she put letters to me and her brother serving in Atlanta in the wrong envelopes.

Yeah, send that shirt, but send me some sandals, either my blue ones, or Marcus was supposed to bring me back some sandals from Hawai'i. I just need some sandals. My blue ones I hiked the whole Na Pali coast in, so it would be nice to keep those at home, so see if Marcus has some sandals for me, or if Jamel wants to give me the ones he brought back. I just need some soon. Yeah, get some of that lotion and some more pyrithium zinc shampoo to send with the shirt. Thanks.

I'm glad Jamel's getting the car done. That's so cool. Ask him if he's going to take Alyx on his kayak or what. Oh yeah, we answer the phones for the people who call for the free Book of Mormons and Lamb of God videos etc. Someone hung up on me the other day, so I sent their Lamb of God video to our house so you guys could have it.

Nothing else has happened here. I talk to Elder Tavete from La'ie about surfing Goat island all the time at night. Tell John to look out for Elder Tavete in the LA mission Spanish Speaking, or take him to lunch or something. Everyone gets along great. Except one guy in our room is literally another form of Dwight from “The Office”. He worships the ground his companion walks on (like he's Michael Scott), laughs at all his jokes hysterically, never gets him out in foursquare and answers questions for him. He's also the most obnoxious person I have ever met. He gets on my case all the time if I don't make my bed like "lucky we don't have room check today, that's a disaster zone up there" and then today his bed isn't made, and I just don't say anything. I am always cool to him. One day I was walking down the hall, and someone tripped me and I turn around and he's laughing and running the other way. In class I asked him what the heck he was thinking, and he's like "you didn't trip, what's the big deal, if I wanted you to trip, I would have pushed you." like that somehow justifies it. I told him I would get him back , but when he least expects it. I told him I would trip him down the stairs in the airport so he has a 10 1/2 hour flight with a broken leg and then kicks off his mission in a wheel chair. I'm glad he's going to Bahia Blanca. I don't think he realizes how nice we all are to him in our room. It's so ridiculous. This and that about everything. I don't think he fully understands that I could literally knock him and his 85 lb companion out. Maybe I'll just bottle up this contention and bust his chops in the airport 'cause we're flying to different missions.

love, Ian

P.S. Thanks for everything. Thank Ellen for the cool picture of dad. Also have someone sing hymn 88 for you in the Spanish hymnbook, its a Spanish only hymn and it's my favorite. It's "Placentero Nos Es Trabajar".

Almost 3 Weeks Down!

Editor's Note:

Jim Pitchforth always writes a Pre(r)amble before his sons' letters, but I haven't come up with anything as clever. If anyone out there has a catchy suggestion so you don't have to see "Editor's Note" heading each missionary letter, let me know.

Marco Garcia is a boy from our ward who is finishing up his mission in Chile. The "sacrifice" Ian refers to is Marco's decision to go on a mission even though he may not be able to see his family again. He had to return to Chile for the church to issue the call legally and I guess the government told him he could not apply to return for at least ten years. His family cannot visit him because they will not be able to get back into the U.S. We do not know all the details of their circumstances, but the Stake President was very emotional a few weeks ago when he told us how excited he is for his son, Spenser, to return in a few weeks while at the same time Marco cannot return to his family. His mother told me that he repeatedly wrote home that he has no regrets and knows it is the best decision he's ever made.

The MTC is a vortex of church member connections. It's like the degrees of separation are down to 1 or 2. I guess part of it is that my friends around the country are all sending kids on missions. It's exciting to hear of his old childhood friends and where they're headed. It feels like we're reconnecting briefly to all the people we've watched pass through our ward.


July 16,2007

Hi,

Thanks for the letter.

First, one of the teachers here served with Marco Garcia, not as a companion, but with him in Antofogasta. His last name is Chandler. I told everyone the sacrifice Marco made, and they realize how foolish it is to feel sorry for themselves.

I don't need white clothes; the ATM account is fine. The only t-shirt I want is a yellow one from Hawai'i that says "Ainokea" on the back. Send that if you could.

I'm going to send some things home like books and stuff to save weight. Tomorrow the Ft. Lauderdale elders leave. I'm setting them up with our address and number, so look out for Elders Fitzgerald, Shick, Stewart and Mortimer. They're all cool guys.

On Wednesday I got to go to the Provo ER because my companion dislocated his finger playing basketball. His finger looked like a lightning bolt. It was at 6:30 a.m. gym, so there was no doctor at the MTC. We had to go to the ER. They make you sign all this stuff when you leave like you won't buy anything, etc., etc., but we left in such a hurry we were in gym clothes and didn't sign anything. Can you believe that the Provo ER doesn't have a single coke machine? It's the cleanest, most empty ER Ive ever seen. It looks like an upscale Pediatrician waiting room. I got to learn how to pop a finger back into its socket. Our nurse went to Resistencia. It was great to leave. I'll send a picture of my companion's finger.

Raquel Delgado, Brother Delgado's daughter, works in the mail room here. I saw her, but I don't think she saw me or recognized me.

Thank the Schwartz's for the package.

That's good Jamel sold the truck and is getting the VW set up. Ask him when he's going to take Alyx out in the kayak like he promised.

The consulate was fine, he just talked for 2 1/2 hours. He talked about each mission, and he made Resistencia sound like the gnarliest place in the world. "jaguars, anacondas, Indians, impenetrable forests etc." and then he made all the other missions sound like pansy missions compared to it. When it was question time, kids asked the dumbest questions I have ever heard. They are talking to the Senior Consulate of Argentina, and all these idiots can come up with is "what does dulce de leche taste like?" "Do they hate Americans?" "How much are the steaks?" and it just went down hill. Ignorance in youth of this church about the world is ridiculous. I can not stand it. Anyway, I raised my hand and said "is Che Guevara a good subject to bring up?" and he just looks at me, kind of cockeyed and goes "He is on lots of t-shirts, yes. But that is all he is, a t-shirt. He left Argentina as a young man and never returned, he went to Cuba, Bolivia, whatever. He is from long ago." Then he went on to incorrectly give some facts about where Che was born, etc. So, I know more about Ernesto "Che" Guevara than the Argentine consulate and he is "nothing more than a t shirt" to the government of that country. He asked us where in the world we have been, and some kids had been to Brazil and Mexico. I didn't say anything, and some kid (probably the dulce de leche kid) says all proudly, "Canada", and everyone including the consulate just started laughing. It was really funny.

Grandma Nan sent a bunch of envelopes with enough postage to go to Canada for my companion, along with a list of elders from Alberta who served in California in '82. It was nice of her. Also, there are pictures of missionaries in Osaka, Japan all over my floor, from '85 and that's when Chuck was there, yeah? I only have three minutes left, but find out Mitch's address at UCF and his email for me. Don't give out my email to my friends until I leave. I get an Argentine ID when I get there, too.

Love you,

Ian

Who needs Notre Dame's Touchdown Jesus

Can't believe Stephen and Heidi haven't posted this one yet. This little tiger's got game!

Elder Patton's first posted letter

EDITOR'S NOTE: The game, Four Square, that Ian refers to is the one you vaguely remember painted on the asphalt of your elementary playground. Wikipedia can fill you in on the details. Adjusting to so little physical exercise is difficult for him, so it's a blessing he will be walking for 22 months. Also, I did edit from this letter silly boy talk. This is definitely God's plan because no parent would consider 19 year old boys ready to represent the Church, let alone the Lord! When the MTC president gave his talk at the orientation, one of his remarks that got the biggest chuckle was: “Some have asked why we don't send 16 year olds on missions. Their reasoning is two fold. 16 year olds know everything and their mothers wouldn't shed a tear at letting them go!” In my peripheral vision I could see Jamel looking around the chapel confused at the humor and wondering how everyone found out he knew everything. I looked straight ahead hoping he didn't know I saw his face. I loved it. When we got to the car, of all the things he could have commented on, he only wanted my reaction to that joke. Ian's companion really struggles with the language. Perhaps we should include him in our prayers. Lastly, Ian's remark at the end about Edgewater is in reference to the assisted living facility where he served dinner as his high school job. So far, no spiritual reporting. His journal may be the only place he'll write that.

July 9, 2007

Dear Mom,

Thanks for sending the immunizations stuff and the check. A bunch of guys from my zone leave in a week for Ft Lauderdale Spanish speaking, so I told them if they were remotely close to our area they should eat at our house and they could reactivate Jamel. I'll send you guys a picture of them so you'll know to look out for them.

Nothing exciting has happened except Four Square has taken over my life, and I have hit my limit of minimal physical activity. One day I lost it and did all the weight machines with as much weight as I could and then ran around the track as fast as I could until I thought my lungs would explode. However, that same day I learned how to play four square, and its highly competitive, and there's only one place to play so the line can get long. I've found myself getting worked up about it and one time some elder got me out with a cheap shot and I actually yelled in frustration because the line was so long. So I brooded about it and right when I got up he bounced to me (he was king) I just shot it back to his feet, which is a cheap move in itself because your not supposed to ethically shoot it back to the King. He said "Aw, I deserved it" and I said "get out of my face" and gave him a little shoulder. Nah, I didn't say that. But I've found myself getting so worked up because we only have 50 minutes a day to let out all our energy. Sometimes I punch the poles as I walk down the hall just to exert some energy and feel something physical.

A guy in my district who is 6' 5" and 385 lbs. shattered the MTC ice cream sandwich record, with 16 ice cream sandwiches following an entire spicy chicken wings meal. That is part of the challenge, to do it after a full meal. It was ridiculous. He looks like Chris Farley and can imitate or recite any movie known to man.

As far as I know, my visa is fine because I got fingerprinted and everything. I meet with the consulate in a few hours and I have to talk to him entirely in Spanish or they won't let me come. No, they just want to see if you're serious about your Spanish. You know Brazil won't let you enter as a missionary without 4 years of seminary? That's what they consider full training. So tell Jamel he can rule that out for sure.

My companion is fine, but we have nothing to talk about. He is good at basketball, likes video games and worked in a lumber mill for a year. He's a great guy, but what would someone like that have in common with me? I try to talk to him about stuff, but there's just nothing in common so its always simple conversation. There's a new Hawai'ian guy in my zone who I surfed Goat Island with. I love hanging out with the Hawai'ians and talking with them over anybody. The sisters in our district are great, they're really amazing and don't mind all the "that's what she said..." jokes.

We already have done Spanish door approaches and it was so sweet speaking in Spanish, but my companion all but fell apart with the occasional, “buenos dias”. Then we taught the first lesson in English and it was alright. He's a nice guy, just big on "exact obedience" and making things out of wood and uh, basketball. We were going over all the rules yesterday with our district leader and the branch president was in the room, and the district leader begins to "commit" everyone to following these rules (not wasting your time during personal time, not encouraging a certain 385 lb Elder's Chris Farley routine, and not wasting class time) and I pointed out what a good job I thought we were all doing, that everyone gets along, sister missionaries aren't what I had them cut out to be, and that it's good to take things seriously, but not too seriously, as is often the case here. “We're Mormon, not Amish”, I said, and even the branch president cracked a crusty smile.

Miss you guys and thanks for yours and Adrie's letters. Tell people I like sour patch kids candy and mounds. If someone wants to mail some cokes, I could sell them for my mission fund, they are like cigarettes at Edgewater. I just want to leave here and get on with my mission. Tell everyone I miss them and stuff like that.

Ian

Texas Sheet Cake Recipe

Stephanie asked me for the recipe for the cake my mom made for all of us the night before Ian went into the faux-MTC. Since we devoured it like a pack of wolves I thought I'd post it here in case anyone else was interested. It's a pretty well known recipe but my mom made a yummy goof! Thanks Mom!!

Texas Sheet Cake

2 sticks butter
1 cup water
1/4 cup cocoa
2 cups flour
2 cups sugar
1/2 cup milk
2 eggs
1 t. baking soda
1 t. vanilla extract
pinch salt

Frosting:
1 stick butter
1/4 cup cocoa
1/3 cup milk
1 lb powdered sugar
1 t. vanilla extract
1 cup chopped walnuts

Preheat oven to 375. Combine butter, water, and cocoa in a 2 c. or larger measuring cup. Bring to a boil in the microwave. Stir together flour and sugar. Add to butter mixture and beat well. Add milk. Combine eggs, soda, vanilla and salt. Add to mixture and mix well. Pour into a greased jelly roll pan. Bake 15-20 minutes. For frosting add butter, cooca, and milk together and bring to a boil. Add powdered sugar, vanilla and chopped walnuts (opt). Pour onto hot cake.

My mom accidentally bought "special dark" cocoa. She used the same amount in the cake recipe but only used 3 T. in the frosting.

More on the Half Union and Elder Patton

Dear Family,

I've spent a couple days trying to write to you about the nice experience we were able to have with so much family here in Utah. I had to quit expressing so much emotion and delete all that. It's hard for me to process my feelings and then start crying at the computer in view of half the town coming in and out the back door of Julie's house. This has always been Grand Central Station - which I love - but I have to go up the hill under the trees to think and there isn't a computer there!

Thank you to Nancy and Jay for letting us all cram into their house and eat everything they had in the fridge or cooked on the stove. Thanks to Holly's and Scott's famlies for driving so far and then staying two days longer than planned. Thanks to Diana and Jack for letting us use and abuse them as if they are an offical Church Family Hotel. I have a lot of family memories at the Dellastatious house!! One of my favorite being Ryan's wedding night! Thanks to all the cousins for being friends and showing flexibility in the schedule and sleeping arrangement. Thanks to the little boys for hillarious conversations to eaves drop on and for the three teenagers suffering through time with old people and very young people. This is probably Jay's first time being lumped with the old guys on the tube at the lake and he was a good sport about it. Scott, being the oldest guy, did a stellar job of withstanding the torment of gigantic boys on a wild tube ride. And Todd kept the party star-studded as a Bruce Willis look alike. We had so much fun!

We heard from Ian this morning, but I'm not forwarding it since he's senstive about privacy at the moment. Plus, his sarcastic ending line was something about me reading it from the Boca pulpit and forwarding it to a hundred people he doesn't know. He's trying to figure out a system of writing that will allow him to say everything he wants, but only forward the things he's comfortable with. We've had an issue in the Pitchforth family with forwarded letters with names of companions who were having serious problems or ultimately left their missions early. People on the forward list happened to know some of the kids mentioned and were offended or forwarded the letter on to others who knew the troubled missionaries. So, anyway, we'll feel this out. His letter this morning sounded like what I imagine Robes' first mission letter was like. His primary companion is from the backwoods of Alberta, Cananda who is struggling with the language and has never heard Spanish spoken. Ian said, "I think my poor companion dreams about maple syrup, curling and hockey when he sleeps. He has a thick Canuck accent like 'past-uh' instead of pasta." The other one is the most obnoxious guy he's ever met and is an odd man out because his companion left after a day! Ian heard that he may return and it wouldn't be soon enough. I reminded him of Robes' experience of being paired with a country boy named Elder Michael Rhodes who was homesick and had nothing in common with a city boy from LA. After some time it eventually worked and where would we be without Frere Rhodes 29 years later?? It doesn't sound like many of the kids in his district are going to Resistencia - most to Bahia Blanca. There is a Hawaiian girl who recognized him from BYUH going to Resistencia and he said it is nice to have her around. Many of the kids are going to Ft. Lauderdale/Spanish speaking so he is giving them the lessons they can't get at the MTC. Like how to use a pellet gun to shoot iguanas (and eat them) and the common gang signs in Miami, etc. I'm imagining his exaggerated Church storytelling skills are coming in handy on the Florida stories and the poor Ft. Lauderdale Mission President is going to be sick of hearing about what Elder Patton told his new missionaries. He's disappointed in the ignorance of the other kids about the world - especially Argentina - but most kids don't read what he reads. I guess he's trying to educate them on the history of Argentina and I doubt many want to listen. He is one that would have probably done better in a foreign MTC, but it's so small that they can't accommodate most of the American kids. Anyway, I'm curious what he'll sound like in a week. I'm going to call his RM friends that went the temple with him the night before he left and ask them to drop him a line. And here's the address if any of you can offer counsel, comfort or a kick in the pants. Humility is the roughest edge he needs to smooth out in the polishing machine at the MTC.

Elder Robert Ian Patton
MTC Mailbox #247
ARG-RES 0827
2005 N. 900 E.
Provo, UT 84604-1793

And a note of interest. Jamel had a PPI yesterday first thing at Church (Mike read my mind) and the result was an emotional testimony at sacrament meeting about how he sees what a difference one small decision can make for the rest of your life and it's impact on others. Adrie and I were just excited to have him at church with us, but standing up at testimony meeting was a bonus.

Everyone have a fun 4th of July. We're going to experience a tiny town celebration (smaller than Dahlonega) where Julie's in charge of the parade and Mike is in charge of building and stocking the fish pond (the kids catch them with their hands). My kids will be in the parade. Happy 4th!

Love you all,

Kim

Mike and Julie Rhodes generously provided the vehicles for the Church Family Half-union Extravaganza at Pineview lake. We spent hours boating, tubing, riding the waverunners, playing on the beach and I even managed to get in a little wakeboarding.

Jamel and I came up with some interesting was of trying to stay on the same tube, unfortunately I think someone else has those pictures so maybe they can post them for me...hint, hint. At one point I was falling off, fully immersed in the water and with my torso in a dead lock between Jamel's legs. I was flopping like a fish out of water and just when I thought I would meet my fate in the clutches of my nephew's scissor hold, I was finally released and made my way to the surface. Wow, what an embarrassing demise that would have been!

Well, the whole week was a blast and it was the perfect ending to a great half-union. Thanks to everyone that came. Sorry our home isn't bigger, but I am so grateful to my in-laws for providing wonderful accommodations as usual.

Enjoy the pictures!

Nate endured only about 5 minutes on the waverunner, but he was a goodsport. "Come on Jamel, say mercy, or I'll twist harder!"
Now that is a beautiful pair!
Cooookieeeee Moooonnnnssssttterrrrr!
Jamel after a haircut. At first, I thought his hair just shrunk that much after getting wet!

Best of friends! Is Collin a Church or what?? These two got along like 2 peas in a pod.
Could somebody please look at the camera?!

Bruce Willis made a surprise appearance for Ian's farewell. Jamel kept calling Luke "Adolf" because of his combover. So we thought we would step it up a notch. (there is absolutely no anti-semitic sentiment intended!)
Our deck picnic table was a blessing with all the hungry little mouths. The adults got to sit around the table inside and actually engage in conversation. Of course, you know most Churches, we can engage in conversation during a nuclear holocaust.
Watch out for the glass, Corky!!!
Despite starting the night sleeping longways in the bed, Emery and Nate seemed to prefer sideways, no pillows, and no blankets. These two were such good playmates. Emery stayed with us almost every night while his family spent the night at the Dellastatious' home.

Jamel jammin on the ukelele. He has now cut his hair (could it have anything to do with the Dixon girls?) He has also been cut from That 70s Show!

Church Family Half-union

Hey, everyone! I don't really know how to do this whole blog thing, but Ryan started it so I thought after having so many of the family here this past week for Ian's farewell; it would be a perfect time to make an attempt at a blog that everyone could participate in and post on.

We truly had an exhaustively great time. It was so much fun to see all the cousins interact and become friends. It was also exciting to see Ian set such a great example by serving a mission and enter the MTC this past week. Jamel teased him that he looked biracial now that his hair was so short and curly.

There was the usual musical collaborations with myself, Jamel, Ian and even the kids joined in with their "Mango" song. Ian and Jamel of course wowed them with their skills on the ukulele. Who knew you could sing such an inspirational song about Ethan trying to go poop!

We started off the week with Family Home Evening at the Joseph Smith Memorial to see the movie "The Prophet Joseph Smith." What a powerful film. Moist poignant to me was the reality of Satan trying to "overpower and overtake" Joseph as he prayed. I've read that account a thousand times in JS History, but the reality of it seem to come home with this movie. Of course Satan would try everything in his power to thwart the restoration of the Gospel. I can only try to imagine what that might have been like. Anyway, a great movie, and thanks to Nancy for organizing the FHE.

In fact, thanks to Nancy for a lot of things this past week, especially all the wonderful food. I know, she's my wife and I am biased, but I think the others will attest to her hosting and culinary skills.

On Tuesday night, I think we had about 40 people at our little house to see Elder Patton one last time. The Rhodes and Dixons (sp?) came down from Liberty to say their farewells and well wishes.

On Wednesday morning, we all met down at the church across form LaVell Edwards Stadium where they held the missionary farewell before boarding buses and heading up to the MTC. It brought back a lot of memories for me and I remembered how excited and scared I felt that first night in the MTC. It was hilarious watching Nate hug Ian, then hug the person who just hugged Ian and then hug Ian and/or Jamel again. The kid is a hugging machine. I can only imagine what it will be like when he someday follows in Ian's footsteps to serve a mission (we hope, anyway). There won't be a person in the building he won't have hugged by the time he gets on the bus (or the families have to leave.)

After saying goodbye to Ian we all headed up to the CougarEat for lunch. It was so neat to see all the cousins sitting around the table. You couldn't help but hope they would meet up there again as students at the Y.

Well, I need to get this posted and get to a meeting, but I will get some pictures posted tonight hopefully and tell you all about the Church Family Half-union Boating Extravaganza hosted by the more than generous Mike and Julie Rhodes. It was a day to remember!!!