Elder Patton's first posted letter

EDITOR'S NOTE: The game, Four Square, that Ian refers to is the one you vaguely remember painted on the asphalt of your elementary playground. Wikipedia can fill you in on the details. Adjusting to so little physical exercise is difficult for him, so it's a blessing he will be walking for 22 months. Also, I did edit from this letter silly boy talk. This is definitely God's plan because no parent would consider 19 year old boys ready to represent the Church, let alone the Lord! When the MTC president gave his talk at the orientation, one of his remarks that got the biggest chuckle was: “Some have asked why we don't send 16 year olds on missions. Their reasoning is two fold. 16 year olds know everything and their mothers wouldn't shed a tear at letting them go!” In my peripheral vision I could see Jamel looking around the chapel confused at the humor and wondering how everyone found out he knew everything. I looked straight ahead hoping he didn't know I saw his face. I loved it. When we got to the car, of all the things he could have commented on, he only wanted my reaction to that joke. Ian's companion really struggles with the language. Perhaps we should include him in our prayers. Lastly, Ian's remark at the end about Edgewater is in reference to the assisted living facility where he served dinner as his high school job. So far, no spiritual reporting. His journal may be the only place he'll write that.

July 9, 2007

Dear Mom,

Thanks for sending the immunizations stuff and the check. A bunch of guys from my zone leave in a week for Ft Lauderdale Spanish speaking, so I told them if they were remotely close to our area they should eat at our house and they could reactivate Jamel. I'll send you guys a picture of them so you'll know to look out for them.

Nothing exciting has happened except Four Square has taken over my life, and I have hit my limit of minimal physical activity. One day I lost it and did all the weight machines with as much weight as I could and then ran around the track as fast as I could until I thought my lungs would explode. However, that same day I learned how to play four square, and its highly competitive, and there's only one place to play so the line can get long. I've found myself getting worked up about it and one time some elder got me out with a cheap shot and I actually yelled in frustration because the line was so long. So I brooded about it and right when I got up he bounced to me (he was king) I just shot it back to his feet, which is a cheap move in itself because your not supposed to ethically shoot it back to the King. He said "Aw, I deserved it" and I said "get out of my face" and gave him a little shoulder. Nah, I didn't say that. But I've found myself getting so worked up because we only have 50 minutes a day to let out all our energy. Sometimes I punch the poles as I walk down the hall just to exert some energy and feel something physical.

A guy in my district who is 6' 5" and 385 lbs. shattered the MTC ice cream sandwich record, with 16 ice cream sandwiches following an entire spicy chicken wings meal. That is part of the challenge, to do it after a full meal. It was ridiculous. He looks like Chris Farley and can imitate or recite any movie known to man.

As far as I know, my visa is fine because I got fingerprinted and everything. I meet with the consulate in a few hours and I have to talk to him entirely in Spanish or they won't let me come. No, they just want to see if you're serious about your Spanish. You know Brazil won't let you enter as a missionary without 4 years of seminary? That's what they consider full training. So tell Jamel he can rule that out for sure.

My companion is fine, but we have nothing to talk about. He is good at basketball, likes video games and worked in a lumber mill for a year. He's a great guy, but what would someone like that have in common with me? I try to talk to him about stuff, but there's just nothing in common so its always simple conversation. There's a new Hawai'ian guy in my zone who I surfed Goat Island with. I love hanging out with the Hawai'ians and talking with them over anybody. The sisters in our district are great, they're really amazing and don't mind all the "that's what she said..." jokes.

We already have done Spanish door approaches and it was so sweet speaking in Spanish, but my companion all but fell apart with the occasional, “buenos dias”. Then we taught the first lesson in English and it was alright. He's a nice guy, just big on "exact obedience" and making things out of wood and uh, basketball. We were going over all the rules yesterday with our district leader and the branch president was in the room, and the district leader begins to "commit" everyone to following these rules (not wasting your time during personal time, not encouraging a certain 385 lb Elder's Chris Farley routine, and not wasting class time) and I pointed out what a good job I thought we were all doing, that everyone gets along, sister missionaries aren't what I had them cut out to be, and that it's good to take things seriously, but not too seriously, as is often the case here. “We're Mormon, not Amish”, I said, and even the branch president cracked a crusty smile.

Miss you guys and thanks for yours and Adrie's letters. Tell people I like sour patch kids candy and mounds. If someone wants to mail some cokes, I could sell them for my mission fund, they are like cigarettes at Edgewater. I just want to leave here and get on with my mission. Tell everyone I miss them and stuff like that.

Ian